Culture in Blackpool?

Surely not? But folks, I kid you not, last night I attended, for the first time in a while, the theatre. I went with a mate from work who literally came in the other day and said, "Who wants to go to the theatre tomorrow?" and only me said yes. So it was me and 8 of his friends, and I had no idea what I was going to see, since I hadn't bothered to ask. Free ticket? Yes please... I'll watch anything if I'm not paying haha.

The play was called Tartuffe. I won't bore you with the plot, because although it was good, if you want to know, click the link. It was written in rhyme, and very difficult to follow, kinda like Shakespeare, you have to listen to the words being spoken. It didn't help that a lady sitting aout 3 rows behind us had a medical emergency about 10 minutes in to the performance and an ambumlance had to be called. The performance was stopped for 5 minutes due to a "technical hitch" but soon got underway again.

Only 4 of us however, stayed to watch the 2nd half, the other 6 ran off to the pub, missing the funniest scene of the play, the first 5 minutes of the second half, a slapstick comedy involving profiteroles. Anyway, I'd reccomend it, while you have to concentrate, it is very funny, with many double entendres I can only assume not everyone understood. One of the guys who left at half time had had trouble understanding the words as we found out when we rejoined them in the pub later.

Letting go

Argh what a nightmare! I lost my phone on Saturday night and as it is a pay and go and pretty much knackered, I was hoping that it'd be found by someone who like me, finds home on the contacts and calls them to tell them where their phone can be located. Unfortunately not. So today I went and bought a new phone, this time on Orange (as all my friends are on Orange). Good so far. £40 for a phone is pretty good I reckon! May not have a cam but I don't use one so silly having one.

I found an offer on Orange (after internet searching) similar to the one I previously had, as I thought I would, as they have to be competitive and all. Also good, because had I not, I would have had to get the phone unlocked to go back on O2. Brill. I'm up and running. The next part is the devil. You see I have ingrained in my head my old phone number to the point that even absolutely hammered I know it. So understandably I don't wanna have to change it, even if my temporary number is pretty funky, I'm attached, I can't let go. So I have spent the best part of the day on the phone to O2 to get a PAK code which I need to give to Orange. Called Orange up, gave them my code, and I'll have my new number back between 11 and 4 on 21st April (next Fri). Oh happy day, I only have to change numbers for a week! So everyone will think I'm ignoring them for a week, coz I'm not giving my new number out and confusing everyone. Anyway, will teach me to get drunk!!

My name

sarah -- [noun]: A person who makes a living suing celebrities 'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Damn knew I was destined to be a lawyer, if I'd known that maybe I wouldn't have flunked the degree!

Daddy's little girl

Tonight myself and my brothers went out to celebrate my dad's 50th. Which basically involved a lovely meal at an Italian and my dad looking lost while me and my brothers jibbered on about rubbish. Plus copious amounts of alcohol. 2 glasses of wine and I was being overly forward with my dad. My grandma was over a few weeks ago so I asked my dad if he'd told her that I was a raving dyke (my words too). He said no and looked rather uncomfortable.

Never really got on with my dad but things are more strained these days. I've disappointed him twice this past year, with my degree and my sexuality, and I'll do anything to avoid seeing him. He's stopped asking about my love life because he doesn't want to know. But I feel he knows nothing about me (came into sbux to see me on a sunday: I work at the pub on Suns) and that hurts. I do try, but he won't accept me and in some ways I resent him, because if not for him so much could be different.

Ok so the truth is not that I've had nothing to blog about, because I have, even if it was only drunken renditions of the Spice Girls in Fleetwood bus shelters. The truth is, I have nothing I wish to share with the whole world. I'm having a few issues with blogging lately, and can't decide how much I'd like to let you in on. This comes from a variety of reasons: -

1) Exes: I don't wanna hurt anyone, nor do i wish to tar anyone's name because of my own feelings. I now save relationship stuff for flowery poems, rich with imagery.
2) The incident: A friend of mine was beaten up by her girlfriend. She posted it on the cyberweb, albeit in a manner which only goes to so many people, but even so, if it got back, would that not make things worse?
3) Most of the topics which mean alot to me make other people who I know read this feel not so good, so I'm always wary of posting them.
4) Who actually reads this?: Well my mum found out about my sexuality online, as did many other people and in some ways that suits me fine but I don't want people finding out stuff by looking on here and getting upset about it.

My blog was always about me, but recently I've come to think of what other people might think if they stumbled across it. I'm kinda stuck as to how I'm feeling about the continuation of blogging right now. I don't want to blog under a 'pen name' because I have always been "this is me" I just need a way to reconcile these opposing ideas.

Join the Craic

So what is it about St Patricks day that makes everyone "go Irish" for the day? The quest to down 4 pints of Guinness and wear a silly hat for the day, but do any of us know what St Patrick's day is about other than excessive consumption of Guinness? Well someone does, and is kind enough to write about it. God bless Wikepedia. This afternoon when the rugby was on, there were all the Irish supporters wearing the Guinness hats and all the England supporters in the St Georges colours. Kinda amusing that yesterday English people were 'Irish' celebrating St Patrick and now they were flaunting their patron saint. How many of these people know that the 23rd April is the day to celebrate being English? And how many people actually celebrate it?

Seems that our English national pride only stretches as far as sport, and by sport I'm talking only about Football and Rugby! Most people don't even know the words to our national anthem. Except in my pub, when the Saturday nearest to St Georges Day we usually hold "Last night of the proms". A night of music, flag waving and singing "Land of Hope and Glory" at the top of our lungs! I can't wait!!

Murder on the darrrrncefloor

Ok so Meg's birthday celebrations part 2 (the gay version). Not going to bore you with the details, as mainly the same places we always go, so I'll just tell you about a few choice moments of the evening out:

Got aftershocks from the bar. They came in really wide glasses. I said "They look like goggles" and put them to my eyes. Meg wanted to take a picture, coz it was funny. So I held them to my eyes and they stated to sting, so I was like, "The fuumes the fuumes are stinging!" but not making any effort at all to move them.

Saw Michelle McManus and also met someone else from Pop Idol series 2. Had no idea who he was, since I didn't watch it, but had my picture taken with him anyhoo. Apparently he was nicknamed 'the vicar'. (Coupled with 'Richard Hillman' and Denise Van Outen coming in Starbucks today we're doing well on the celebrity front this week)

Murder on the darrrrncefloor - every time those words were sung, Meg, Paul and Rich threw themselves on the floor. I was just sat on this couch laughing at them, after asking "what are you doing you weirdos"

The toilet doors you can see through if the person's pressed up against them. Meg was on the loo and I pressed myself against the door and pulled faces at her.

• Meg: "I can see you."
• Me: "I can't see you"
• Meg: "but what if you can?"
• Me: "But I can't"
• Meg: "Argh stoppit"

Paul at one point was trying to wake up Kat, who he thought was lying on the stage. It turns out he was trying to wake up a speaker!!

Meg took her shoes off to go down the stairs and the bouncer told her off. She twitted on about the stairs being wet or something and she'd slip because they were glass and the he said put them back on at the bottom. "I intend to" announced Meg. How posh?

Anyway at 4 the club closed, so we went back to Paul's house for a bit, got talking about pubes for some reason, and found out one girl has fully shaved. Me shouting "bald eagle" loudly, Meg eating beans on toast and singing "Red dress" was rather amusing. Only to become absolutely hilarious when leaving and Paul said "I'm just going to turn the fish off." Obviously he meant the light, but we thought it was hilarious. We went straight to work and fell asleep upstairs, opened a little bit late - whoops! pro plus WAS issued!

Straight and narrow

Saturday it was Meg's birthday celebrations part one. So we went out in town. Now I'm not generally a fan of straight Blackpool but I'm willing to go out occasionally out of the protective loop that is the scene. I spent the whole afternoon shopping in Manchester for a new top and went out looking very straight I must say! I got there before everyone else and I was dying for the loo and there was a huge queue for the bar we were going to. So I ran into this place called Tapas Bar. which I know for tequila, and ordered a tequila on my own. I'm not sure why, I don't even like the stuff! Except for buterscotch in Ca Va with mates! Anyway, I went to Walkabout and had a pretty good time in there. Got talking to this girl while I was waiting for everyone else to arrive and what do you know? She was gay, haha. Anyway, drinking....I'd had wine at home so although Corona would be the drink of choice it seemed not a very good idea. So vodka it was then, Oh dear this was going to be a messy night!!

(my hand is not on Hanna's boob, honest!)

Anyhoo we got the DJ to say happy birthday to Meg and play "9 til 5" by Dolly Parton, and we did this dance that some guys were doing in Mardis Gras one time, which amused us greatly. Jade got a lollipop from somewhere and we were sharing it, and me generally flirting with her and getting a bit of attention for it haha. And then they wouldn't believe I was gay and this guy started saying you know you fancy me!! To this stuck up loser (who I wouldn't have fancied even if I was straight) i said "If you've got a penis, I don't wanna know." Oh how I love it!

Anyway so onto the club and was pretty good in there. As I serve one of the bouncers at my pub job, I managed to get in for half price which was very nice! I told one guy I was talking to my name was Rachel, as that's what I'd decided my name would be for the evening. He was a little weird. I got talking to some random chicks in the toilets and then met up with them a little later on when Meg had gone home very drunk and kinda got offered some class A drugs which I declined (what a good girl). The weird thng was I was expecting for a change a nice mix of guys n gals, but the club was full of guys! Saw my bouncer friend (who apparently says I'm a very happy drunk) again and decided that it had got to 3am, maybe it was time to go. So I walked out of the door, and what did I see?

Yes a blizard, not that you can tell from the pic. In strappy shoes and no coat it was a little cold walking for a taxi, but managed to get home safe, sleep it off and get up the next morning to make this creation with my brother! Fred took an hour to make, but great hangover cure!

Birthday celebrations part 2 tonight! Out on the scene again, can't wait.

Hard Gays Night

This weekend I took a few days off for Rhys's birthday and went down to Liverpool. Anyway the lads had gone to lunch already as I said not to wait til 2pm for me so i was trying to find somewhere to eat something. Now I wanted to stay away from Starbucks/McDonalds/KFC so I went for a little walk down the cavern quarter of Liverpool hoping I could find a cute little cafe that's similar to my fave cafe in Blackpool. I found a door with a few steps up and so i walked inside and I'd found myself in a small bar. No fear I thought, alot of bars do food, so i went up to the bar and asked if they did. The barman said no (but did offer me last night's leftover pizza, which I politely declined) so i ordered half a lager, so as not to look like a total prick! Anyway there was this blackboard behind the bar with a load of writing on it which I thought, "I'll read later" and I started to look around the place.

On the back of the bar i spotted bottles of poppers, and I thought "That's rather odd...."
So I looked upwards and sure enough there was rainbow netting above the blackboard. And on closer inspection of the blackboard there was a Mr and Mr and Mrs and Mrs night, a Gay Psychic night and the whole thing was written out in ROYGBIV! I don't know if the barman clocked the moment I realised I was in a gay bar*, but I think I masked my revelation quite
well. On closer inspection of the arty versions of the beatles album covers they were Sgt Pepper's GAY Lonely Hearts Club Band and A Hard GAY'S Night plus the others which I can't remember.

I exited the bar the other side to where I came in and sure enough there were rainbow flags flying proud, had I seen these I would have known in an instant, but there was definately no indication the way I'd gone in (I walked past again, to check) . I ended up meeting the boys lunch-less, but in good spirits.

*Not that I don't frequent gay bars or anything, just amused me that of all the places I could walk into in Liverpool....and that I had no idea until that point.

Bike ride with the L's

Ok so it's taken some time to do this, mainly because my internet connection has been majorly sucky. So while it's working I'll do it to shut a certain young lady up. Last Friday we decided to do something more wholesome than spending the entire day in bed, so she brought her bike over and we decided to go for a ride. Now as I'd lost my bike lock I decided we should go to Blackpool so I could buy a new one. And when we got to town, after getting free beverages (with a lot of teasing for cycling) at work, I took her to the most quality of places; POUNDLAND to buy some glostick bracelets!! We were on the way out of there and we saw these fab lunchboxes, for a pound, we'd have one each. Although she argues that only she should have one as only she has a reason: Haribo is her nickname!

Then we decided that we needed something to put in them so we filled them with food - yey.

This done we were going to sit on the beach, but unfortunately the tide was in.

So we sat on the prom watching the sea and taking random pictures of seagulls and stuff.

Afterwards we went and played on the 2p machines and I lost £2 very quickly, I had a go on the dance machine and we bought sticks of rock!! A little bit crazy but the day cost about a tenner, including the lunchbox and filling it, and we got some much needed (in my case definately) exercise!

Wordclouds

OK Ally has already blogged about this, but in case you don't read her blog* then I have posted this for you to play with. If you want one for your blog then just click here and go get one. It is too cool for words!! Might buy the t-shirt one day but for now I'll think about when on earth I'd wear it. Actually. We could all get them and have a blogging party, and actually meet the people who's lives we follow online in the flesh...excuse for wine? I'm there"!

*You really should read Ally's blog, it's fantastic writing. And as for my blogroll...it's coming as soon as I get time and patience (because it always screws up when I do it - need an afternoon with a pot of tea for this one)

Lipstick Lesbian!

So last Saturday night, me and Meg went to Funny Girls to see Rich at his new job. Or I should probably for the purposes of this blog refer to him as Miss Jasmine. Anyway as she was working very hard on waiting on tables, we decided to get the DJ, Zoe to give a shout out. After waiting for ages for her to finish talking I went up and gave her a slip of paper that said,

Can you say hi to Miss Jasmine waiting on at the back, lots of love from Meg and Sarah x

And as you can't go up to request something without some sort of conversation Zoe asked me if I was married. I kinda looked at her oddly, and shook my head. And then she asked if I was a lesbian, to which a nodded, to get the response:

I did think so but you kind of threw me there. Well boys and girls, she is wearing eyeliner and mascara!

And I had pink streaks in my hair - very cool!

New Year...

...new everything. Again I've changed the layout of my blog. I don't know got tired of the old one. Plus I have a new blog and I wanted to keep the layout somewhat consistent. Don't get me wrong the blogs are entirely seperate, but the other one, which translates as "The Dream of my Life", is more intimate and delves into my subconcious. I chose the French because I like the ring of it, and also because it's not really my life as such, kinda foreign (see where I'm going with this?). I won't do it every day (coz i do this one everyday lmao), as I don't remember all my dreams and in any event some I don't want to put on the net. But it should be an interesting experiment. I also have new bedding, and new cushions...hmmm what next?

1st Feb

And I know it's generally March when we say White Rabbits, but I thought it today so I'm saying it. It's February which means the first month of 2006 is over with and to sum up it has been eventful.

I know I've not been blogging much, but such is life, some weeks I blog loads and other weeks I hardly blog at all. But it has been almost a year since I started now! But yesterday I started to question the purpose of this blog and where I want to go with it in the new year, whether I can be as open as I like on here or whether that would get me into insummountable amounts of trouble. Anyhoo!! I think it's been good for me to keep in touch with people who read it, and I have loads more readers than I thought so I may keep it on... Gonna try and do a few other things with it in the coming weeks though. Anyway I'm gonna stop rambling incoherently now, I'll blog sense when I feel it. Hugs to all my readers!!

New Year, New Handbag

Ok this is old news but so much has happened and I don't want to put it all on here just at the moment. So there has been alot happening with the gay scene in Blackpool recently, as part of the blackpool masterplan to improve the town means the area including the Flying Handbag and Flamingos is going to be flattened. The guy who owns these, Basil Newby (ITP leisure) has moved them to new venues so we have had opening nights. I have the pics from Flying Handbag opening night when we took our DM out to show him what we got up to....(i fell over sooooo many times)

The whole gang down in Mardi Gras

The sisters - Paul, Rich and Steve

Steve wishin he was a lesbian haha!

Randomosity

Yes it has been a rather random day. As it's January and people are cutting back on their spends and calories, we have been rather quieter than previously. So we have to find other ways to amuse ourselves. We have been doing coffee quizzes, so we can have sexy black aprons (meaning we're coffee experts - pfft) and other stuff to get pay rise of about 15p an hour, but still it's money. But even still we get bored. And we've invented every drink going, so what's left to do? Take pictures, pretending to be myspace emo peoples and laze about. Here is the evidence:

Megan and Me being emotastic

The happy Barista

Well earned coffee break

St Lucia

The next 8 posts are a round up of what I got up to on my holidays, complete with pictures. Thanks Ally for saying the camera over the ipod, it really came in handy! Anyway without further ado, read the next few posts, or at least look at the piccys!

Tuesday 3rd January

At 4am I was picked up by the taxi, having stayed up so I might have some chance of sleeping on the aeroplane. I was dancing around the front room whenI was picked up so all in high spirits really. We got on the shuttle flight from Manchester to London, which was no problem. When we went to baggage reclaim some guy tried to take my suitcase, thinking it was his, despite the fact that oit has my name sprayed across it. Stupid man! The check-in at Gatwick was a nightmare. Virgin in their ultimate wisdom decided to merge all check-ins into one and so the queue was immense and we eventually had to be called as there was on 45 minutes to go before our flight left, despite the fact that we'd queued for an hour. Grr. I fell asleep on the plane only to be woken up by the flight attendant to watch the safety demonstration. Was annoyed since I'd seen it only hours before on the previous flight. Anyway fell back asleep and woke up just in time for dinner and then fell asleep again. Woke up 2 hours before the flight ended so I watched The 40 Year Old Virgin. On arrival in St Lucia, we got a taxi to the hotel, an hours drive throught the rainforest. All the sterotypical Caribbean images, of people hanging out the back of pick up trucks, sitting in shacks and carrying stuff on their heads, we saw. On arrival at the hotel, we were given a cold towel, which was minty, very nice and a rum punch. Pete, my mum's new husband was drunk on arrival, much to his parents' disgust, but I thought it was funny.

Wednesday 4th January

Today was a quiet day, I spent most of it hanging around by the pool with my brothers, taking full advantage of the swim up bar and messing about in the pool. I came out with "I couldn't possibly go to the bar, I'm a gay you see" and from there, that was the saying of the holiday, providing a giggle at the dull moments. We went kayaking and this was pretty boring, but we chased the banana boat to ride the waves it created. We also had a go on the banana boat, and didn't get thrown off which was disappointing.

Thursday 5th January

I woke up thinking "my mum's getting married today!" and went down to the beach to ask about windsurfing lessons. I'd fancied it and never done it and they let me do it straight away. I met my instructor, Mylo and after a land simulation, so I could get the hang of it before going in the water, we waded on in there and got on with it. The moment I first stood up on the board, before even touching the sail, I fell off and over the next hour, I spent more time in the water than on the board, but perserved and eventually managed to go about 10 yards before falling off again.

After lunch, we went upstairs to have showers and get ready for the wedding. My flower wouldn't attach to my hair, so I had to go to the on site hairdressers and steal some kirby grips. Anyway we got picked up from my mum's room in golf carts, yep, that's what they use for wedding cars, and taken to the gazebo which was decorated beautifully. The ceremony was memorable, the priest, James Prudence, began by welcoming them on behalf of the hotel staff, the people and the government of St Lucia, which while sounds fine me writing it, it took him so long to say, we thought he was going to name everyone living on the island. He showed everyone the rings, saying that they were special, and, "are circles. A circle has no beginning and no end, which is symbolic of today". Though he did forget to mention why. When it came to the end, he declared them "husband and...(massive pause)....wife". I wore a dress for as long as the pictures took and then I went upstairs and got changed into smart trousers and my waistcoat, in keeping with the wedding colours for dinner.

Dinner took forever, and we got annoyed with the staff because they clearly hadn't been communicating with each other, and they didn't have the lobster thermidor as requested. It was still lovely but it put a bit of a dampener on the day. Later on that evening, as part of the entertainment at the hotel, they held a "Miss Almond Morgan Bay" Competition. I was persuaded to enter and was doing pretty poorly, being probably the most unattractive girl on stage and losing the downing coke competition and Simon Says. Then we had to model to Shania Twain "I feel like a woman" (oh watch that pun!) and I did a cartwheel in the middle of my modelling and pulled it all back and managed to win the competition! Was so funny, I would have breakdanced, but I can't so it was the next best thing.

Friday 6th January

I decided to go on a rainforest cycle adventure with my brother Craig. We got picked up by jeep, by Herbie (the driver) and Chris the tour guide, a genuine 100% rasta, whose poison is "Ganga on the rocks. Sitting on a rock, smoking a joint." We were taken to a little village on the edge of the forest and cycled into the forest from there. On the way, Chris stopped us, he jumped up a tree, picked a cocoa pod, smashed it open on a rock and gave us it to taste. He continued eating it cycling up the road. We cycled for a while before we got to the first hill. I managed to fall off my bike on this one because I was looking at an orange on the floor. I also fell off a bit later just because I was tired, but I didn't hurt myself like I did when I fell off my bike back in September. We got to a little shack, where we picked up some sticks to walk with and the three of us went for a trek down into one of the valleys. At one point we stopped and Chris explained the banana tree, it being 60% water, and having 3 stems; a grandmother, a mother and a daughter, anything else was a parasite. Biology lesson over, we continued to the Venus Waterfall, which the pictures do not begin to do justice.

We trekked back to the shack, and cycled downhill to a pool where we went for a swim. As we hadn't thought about this eventuality, we didn't have any swimwear, so we just jumped in wearing our underwear. Had we been alone and not in the presence of about 40 Americans I would have been tempted to go in nude, but we got enough funny looks for my bra and boxers! We climbed up the stream leading into the pool with the help of Chris and had a shower in a small (6 foot) waterfall in the stream. was awesome. By the time we got back to the village we were dry and we had some snacks. Well I say we, I mean I, the snacks were decidedly unvegetarian (as for those of you who don't know, my bro is a veggie) so I ate double, so as not to appear rude.

That evening, the entertainment at the hotel was dire, I wanted to slit my wrists at several points during the evening, in true emo fashion. We were going to the jump-up later that evening, which basically was a street party, but it didn't start til 9pm and we didn't want to be too early so were biding our time until 10pm. Now Craig gives a good explanation of this, so I won't bore double readers twice with the details. Though I will provide a picture. Itas awesome, most fun I've had in a while. And some girl was checking me out! Yey.

We went back to the hotel at half 12 and went to the only open bar where a guy was playing piano. I ended up singing Memory and Power of Love (badly I might add) and Ali delighted everyone with his pianist skills, playing Coldplay!

Saturday 7th January

I went on a whale and dolphin trip with my mum. Although we didn't see any dolphins (I think I'm cursed never to see them) we had a whale of a time (oh yeh pun city this post). We had the local beer, Piton in front of the Pitons. I spent most of the time on the boat getting very wet, dangling my legs over the side, and being chatted up by one of the (male) members of crew. Ah well, you can't help being sexy haha. In the afternoon I went sailing with my brothers and it started raining while we were out there. Ali nearly capsised the boat at this point and said we had a "brief moment of nearly dying" so we came up with a yarn to tell everyone when we reached shore. We were in the middle of a tropical storm in shark infested waters when the boat overturned and we nearly drowned. Was slight exaggeration but meh!

Sunday 8th January

Today we went on an island boat tour. We went on this speedboat owned by a guy called Joy who lived in Soufriere. First he took us to this little beach where we were going to get a taxi to the volcano, but the tyre blew so we ended up playing catch with a coconut while the guy changed the wheel. We went to this waterfall and I managed to get the whole family to try cocoa by talking to this guy about what he was eating, and playing dumb, though I knew very well what it was. He climbed up a tree and just picked one for us, which was really cool. I was first in the waterfall in true bravado style which shocked Pete's family, though I'm not sure why. We then went to the sulphur Springs, Caribbean's only drive in volcano (that's what the sign said and that made me laugh). It stank like rotten eggs, but was worth going just to see.

After lunch on a the beach, home made cooking of Joy's mum and niece, we went to the bay in between the pitons and went snorkelling. I've never snorkelled before so was a bit apprehensive, but one look at a couple of fish in the shallows and you couldn't see me for dust. I was saying hello to the fish, shouting through my snorkel "oh look there's a fish" and trying to grab them but was awesome. The site is a marine conservation area and is a coral reef, was really good for my first snorkel, and I definately want to do that again!

Monday 9th January

Today was a pretty quiet day. I was a little pink in places from the previous day so I stareyd covered up. I went shopping in Castries. All I really wanted from the market was some local coffee to bring back for a coffee tasting. I got a rainmaker which is beautifully decorated with carved animals and a painting which is really colourful. It took me forever to decide which one I wanted though. I'd orginally wanted a picture of the Pitons but I went for something which was less "chocolatebox" since I don't like that type of art very much. We were going past the fish counter when one of the guys shouted "hey white girl" whichI was taken aback a little by, but he seemed a nice guy and had a 5 minute conversation with him before moving on.

We went to the duty free area where the ships dock, and bought tons of alcohol but it has to be shipped to the airport by law of St Lucia, which was a little odd. We did very little else in the afternoon other than go on the banana ride. My mum jumped off on top of me and because I had salt in my eyes and couldn't open them, I didn't know where I was or where I was going. My mum sais it was very funny to see me from the shored because I was swimming in circles. She sent my brother in to rescue me and point me in the right direction.

That evening was supposed to be a beach BBQ but it was rained off so it was under cover. The entertainment was good, but no-one was dancing so we started a conga. One of the dancers came and led the conga line and we ended up dancing to reggae music by the stage. Afterward we went to the piano bar with some Americans and played card games which were supposed to be drinking games (not enough alcohol though) and I got discussing politics with Rick. When the bar shut, we went and sat on the beach for a while, until I decided that I would get even more bitten by mosquitoes (they made a meal of me the horrible creatures) so it was time for bed.

Tuesday 10th January

Today was our leaving day and other than packing, I didn't do very much at all. We went looing for a charm at a shopping mall, to no avail, and the rest if the day I spent in the bar. I didn't want to be travelling wet so I stayed out of the pool. I was dying for the taxi to come at 3.30 most of the day. The flight was slightly delayed by some people being late, but no real problems. I watched The Exorcism of Emily Rose on the flight before falling asleep, rather uncomfortably. Slept through alot of the flight (as it was a night flight) and woke up for landing.

Wednesday 11th January

When we arrived in Gatwick after collecting our bags, immediately changing our currency back to GBP, the first thing on the menu, quite literally was McDonalds brekkie. It was Ali who mentionned it and one mention and all of a sudden I'm craving it. That's one thing that has to stop if I'm going to go on a diet. Then the first thing I did was to call work (since it was 8am) because I'd missed everyone so much and plus I needed to find out if I was working over the weekend. After the shuttle flight to Manchester and taxi home, you'd have thought all I wanted to do was sleep, but we went out for a meal. I didn't eat too much, felt really sick, although the food was gorgeous and no more than what I could normally handle. Oh well, I was jetlagged, that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it.

Pirates of the Caribbean

For the past week I have not fallen off the face of the planet, I have simply been away on holiday. This pirate lady went to St Lucia for her mum's wedding, as previously mentionned back in November. I have had a fantastic time, I have taken ridiculous amounts of photos, some of which I'm going to post on here in the next day or two, along with a round up of what I got up to with my week. And boy I did do quite a bit, I'm not one for lying by a pool, no siree! So now I'm safely home, when I have a few hours to spare, I'll enlighten you with the delights of my holiday, prepare for a long read!

New Years Eve, because we arrrrr!

Well a new years like no other. We decided a few weeks ago that the fancy dress theme would be pirates. Now this was around the time the crappy joke
"Why are pirates called pirates?"
"Because they arrrrrrr!"
was circulating. So if people asked us why the theme was pirates, that was our answer. And of course he prospect of spending the night playing with swords was quite exciting, even if they were plastic. I actually had time after finishing at Sbux to go home, and get changed, so I did, and I got the bus in all my glory, with my scar drawn on my face in permanent marker and all. Got a few funny looks from people, but kinda played it down and looked at them as if to say, "What are you looking at?" and they looked away. Quality!

Check out my bad self, don't I look good?

Anyway I had written fake tatoos on my arms, an anchor and my imaginiary girlfriends name in a heart on my arm (just to avoid any doubt hehe). I was getting well into the spirit of things and I was kinda shocked by someone who came up to the bar and said "Sarah?" I looked at her blankly for a few seconds, thinking, "Is that who I think it is?" and then she said, "Raz!" and it was confirmed. Yes the girl I pulled in the Raz back in November. Was totally surreal. Spent the night flirting, and in honesty it actually made my night to get some female attention since I totally wasn't expecting it.

At 11.45, as is tradition, the bar closes and we go on our break. After the Auld Langs Ayne, we did the conga around the pub (and I mean around the pub, going out one door and back in the other and I was dancing on my own to the music man in the middle of the vaults, to bemused looks from other staff members. After re-opening for half an hour at 12.30 and tidying up, we had an after hours party.

We had a great buffet as always) and played trivial pursuit which was boring, because one team, who we beat (wahoo) kept having go after go because they were so brainy. I was like "I'm going to sleep for a bit, wake me up when they've finished." I've had better games played on NYE at the pub, and since this was my 4th, was a little tame, but I've had worse, and poor Rhys had a helluva time. The only thing I had to contend with was defending who I am to a silly little boy. Ay well, all in a days work.

New Year, New me

OK so 2005 is almost over, we are nearing the final few hours as we say goodbye to a year once again. And in TV style I'm going to reflect on 2005. Not as many would, on news events, this will be done to death internet wide anyway. But on my 2005. So without further ado:

Defining moments of 2005

• February: I started blogging, and discovered a whole new world.
  
• May: I finished uni, with a 3rd class degree, which in all honesty although I'm disappointed with (I know I could have done better), I stuck out the course to the very end, for which I'm proud
  
• 18th July: I started a new job, making coffees. This, while really not the best job in the world, has brought me happiness in the friends I have met though work, something I thought could never happen to me.
• One Sunday night in early September: We went for a few drinks after work. My first ever trip to the handbag. Rich asked me if I swung both ways, and I admitted it. We got very drunk, I cycled home, and the Sunday night out was born. (Court of King Caractacus)
  
• Tuesday 4th October: I met someone who was to turn my world upside down. (Celine Dion - I'm Alive)
  
• Sunday 9th October: My first ever cigarette in the toilets at Bar B.
  
• November: I admitted to my mum my sexuality, Mark told me to stop trying to be something I'm not. By the end of the month I pretty much accepted who I am.
• Early December: I finally felt brave enough to change my status from bisexual to lesbian (Shirley Bassey - I am what I am)
  
• 19th December: My first true one night stand :S
  
• Xmas Day: The words "I'm a lesbian" finally felt so easy to say.

And now, for 2006, New years resolutions:

• I will join a gym and get fit, and undertake a cycle challenge, which i will update you all on and expect sponsorship hehe. So dig deep when the time comes.
• I will stop eating rubbish all the time and drinking so much (except Sunday nights of course).
• I will come out to my whole family.
• I will pay off that pesky credit card, even if it means a bank loan.
• I will move out of my parents house, I can't get to 24 living with my mum, it's just too sad.
• And hopefully I will find love now I've about found myself.

To everyone who reads this Merry New Year and best of tidings for 2006.

That kind of thing aint my bag, baby

I don't know if I'm old fashioned or what but I just don't get swingers. Before I came out as a lesbian, I always identified as bisexual and received numerous requests from the internet world off people who wanted to swing in one way or another. Now I don't really understand why bisexual seems to mean to people "easy" or "just up for sex". Even when I was bi, it meant nothing more than being sexually attracted to both men and women, not necessarily at the same time, and it was never about spicing up my sex life. I will always be faithful to the person I'm with and I expect the same of them. That's not too much to ask right?

So I don't get why people feel they want to swing. I also really don't get women whose husbands say it's ok for them to sleep with another woman but not another man. What's the distinction? It's still cheating. And when couples go to swinging clubs, such as this establishment in Blackpool, it's still colloquially referred to as wife-swapping which has undertones of a power imbalance in a relationship. I rarely hear about men whose wives freely let them go off on sexual encounters while they remain faithful, and I do worry how “free” consent to swing is, and to take a feminist view, how much it is expected in the gender roles proscribed in pornographic videos (I do take quite an extreme feminist view on porn*, it’s no way to define a sex life, sex is about love too, and this is all but forgotten).

I also wonder if these videos sell a fantasy that people feel compelled to act out, regardless of the effect on their relationships. I feel that if you love someone you want to be with them and only with them, to the exclusion of all others. If you wanna put it about, why not be single? No two people ever come at a relationship from exactly the same angle, and I just see it as an intricate way of getting hurt.

OK so for a liberal I’m pretty old fashioned. If people want to do this and they do it for their own reasons, and not under duress of circumstance, we’re all consenting adults and all….but it’s not for me and if I had a partner who wanted to be with someone else, they wouldn’t be with me anymore. I want to feel loved wholly, and know that I can satisfy my lover in every way or I don’t want to know.

PS. Please, no more requests from married women (even if hubby will leave us alone and doesn’t want to watch) and no more threesome requests, I want to be with one person, for you, and I want you to myself. Selfish? Maybe, but less people to get hurt.

* I will probably post this at a later date

So I never did tell you....

how my Christmas was. Well the truth be known, I didn't have the best one ever, mainly because I was: (1) Working; and (2) Ill. I got up, and went to my dad's house for present opening. I was really quite disappointed to be honest, not because I don't appreciate presents, but it is the thought that counts, and not much thinking had been going on. I had excessive amounts of chocolate, which considering I don't really eat chocolate is not a good thing. My dad had got me my mum's fave chocs which I can't stand which really annoyed me, because my dad doesn't know me. I guess that was what it came down to, he doesn't know what makes me tick, and he's known me 23 years, he damn well should. He' getting me a digicam though so I can't really complain, we're going shoppin for it in the sales so I can get a better one than I would have been able to pre-Xmas. My lil bro tho, gotta love him got me the bestest ever present. He'd done all his shopping at bargain booze and got me a big bottle of Baileys. Woooh! Cripes I feel so emo for that paragraph!

Anyway went to work at the pub and because I was feeling ill, lost my voice entirely and ended up just collecting glasses. My boss told me I wasn't well enough to come in tomorrow, and so I didn't work. I'm supposed to be working today but still feel damn awful (not helped by the chemists all being closed over xmas - argh!!) I don't get why people go to the pub on Christmas day, I really don't.

Went back to my dad's and cooked dinner for everyone, which was the high point of the day, with Ali laughing excessively at the ever poor christmas cracker jokes. My brothers were their usual selves over dinner, generally being stupid, my dad saying very little and me just trying to stay awake, keep up with the banter at the appropriate times. After dinner I crashed out on the couch and at the first opportunity got a cab back to mums. I gave the cab driver all my xmas tips (£8.50) because I couldn't be bothered to count the actual fare, which was something near £7. Anyway I made coffee for everyone and sat scoffing mince pies and we played beat the intro. I'm suprisingly good at it hehe. I had some more presents at mum's house and got series 5 of 2 pints of lager and a packet of crisps on dvd which was pretty awesome!! Anyway that about sums up the day, was much better than last year though.

Season's Greetings

Well I'm too late for Merry Christmas so I'll just give greetings in general. I know I've not been blogging much lately, but I have been trying to keep up to date with all my blogging friends and Ally I'm glad the turkey situation sorted itself out, thanks for the amusing blog posts and I hope you keep me chuckling throughout 2006. If 2005 hasn't been as life changing in happiness for you as it has been for me, may 2006 bring said happiness and may you leave the s**t behind (you know what I mean by that). Rhys, thanks for the Christmas poem, I have been ill over Xmas and the only thing that is keeping me feeling even slightly normal is coffee I've been making with my new coffee machine I bought myself for Xmas woo! So you weren't far off! As for Loki thanks for starting blogging and providing us with useful information, not forgetting to mention a 9mm in every other post. I'm glad I started blogging this year, even if my posts have not been too frequent of late.

Thankyou all my readers fior your kind words of support and encouragement, and it's partly through this blog that I have been able to truly find myself and am able to enter 2006 a different, but much happier person than the person I'm leaving behind in 2005. Sure I'll expect trials and tribulations and heartache, but I can truly see the light now, and I am so happy to be at this point in life. Hopefully I'll be making a few changes to my life in 2006 so who knows what the new year will bring for me and all of you. Happy new year and I wish you all health and happiness for 2006!

Time to me

I have a little me time at the moment, in between working my ass off and I'm spending it browsing the internet, thought I'd update you all on how my life's been going lately. Well I have to say pretty good. I've seen my dad this week, went out for a curry (I wish I'd had a hot one, as much as I love Chicken Kashmiri, it's a little mild and sweet for my liking) and I talked him to death. We discussed the possibilty of a digicam as an Xmas present, and what's actually happening Xmas day. My dad noticed how I'm much happier now I know who I am, I just need to figure out exactly what I want. I'm considering going back to college too, though I have a few ideas as to what to do and I need to work out the logistics of each.

Last night I went to see a pantomime with Megan Spoon, was awesome fun, and we've been doing some stupid action and shouting "Woo!" (as this was in the panto) all day at work. We had a tube of Haribo Starmix and used it for shouting BOOOOOOO through (we ate most the sweeties before the show began hehe), so it's a boo tube. We were going to make it into a Starbux rocket today, but I forgot it because I woke up late. Dammit.

After work today I went to pick up my tickets for my St Lucia. Yey, so excited! I need to get on the sunbed a few times to build up a base tan before I go else I'll just end up bright red after a day. I'm not particularly bothered about the tan, I just can't be bothered with sunburn!! The place we're staying at is awesome and I plan on spending quite a bit of time in the gym there, playing tennis and doing some watersports. As well as chilling on the beach and writing poetry. Oh and dancing around the beach drinking rum alla Cptn Jack Sparrow. Although I said I'm not going to go food or alcohol mad, even if it is all inclusive. Want to be a bit healthier next year, tho starting next year when I get back (11th Jan) wouldn't be too bad I guess.

My fancy dress came today from Wonderland. I used them for Halloween, and they again have provided an excellent service. I have Miss Claus (right) for Xmas eve and Xmas day at the pub and Miss pirate (left) for NYE, we're pirates because because we arrrrr! The Miss Santa dress is a little short, but it covers my bum so all is good really. And it's longer than the Ann Summers version I considered. haha. Still, I get to wear my white fishnet stockings hehe.

Also today, I went shopping for a top to wear for our Xmas do (Sunday, I'm sure it will be the usual carnage*), came back £64 lighter but with 2 jumpers, and 2 t-shirts so all is good! I needed em anyways! I've been to hobbycraft this week, was in my element with all them beads, gosh, it was amazing, spent £12 on beads, got loads, though not even thought about what I'm going to do with them, I need some more cord. Have said I'll make someone a necklace for their birthday, so should get a wriggle on really. Am going to be majorly busy this next week and have to fit in mince pies and Xmas cake making....ooooh hectic life, but happy one!

*Hopefully this week no-one will say/do anything they will later regret and consequently resign :S

I'm just a girl

Take this pink ribbon off my eyes
I'm exposed and it's no big surprise
Don't you think I know exactly where I stand
This world is forcing me to hold your hand

'Cause I'm just a girl, little old me
So don't let me out of your sight
I'm just a girl, all pretty and petite
So don't let me have any rights
I've had it up to here

The moment that I step outside
So many reasons for me to run and hide
I can't do the little things I hold so dear
'Cause it's all those little things that I fear

'Cause I'm just a girl, I'd rather not be
'Cause they won't let me drive late at night
I'm just a girl, guess I'm some kind of freak
'Cause they all sit and stare with their eyes
I'm just a girl, take a good look at me
Just your typical prototype
I've had it up to here
Am I making myself clear?

I'm just a girl
I'm just a girl in the world
That's all that you'll let me be

I'm just a girl living in captivity
Your rule of thumb makes me worry some
I'm just a girl, what's my destiny?
What I've succumbed to is making me numb

I'm just a girl, my apologies
What I've become is so burdensome
I'm just a girl, lucky me
Twiddle-dum, there's no comparison

I've had it up to
I've had it up to
I've had it up to here

Just a lil song I decided I wanted to listen to, love it, love it!!

The most amazing thing happened tonight...

...when I logged into my e-mail and found I had Myspace messages and a friend request. So I logged into myspace to see who wanted to be my friend today, and my god I got a HUUUUUUUUGE shock. I am still reeling and it's been over an hour now. This guy had sent me a message and added me as a friend. Now I feel I must give you some background info because you have no idea how exciting this is unless I tell you.

Adam was one of my best friends at school, we used to do stupid stuff like dance to steps and various other cheesy music together, hang out loads and we even put the words from a steps song into one of our English oral assessments. We got the bus together and we used to eat lollipops on the bus (not sure why but it became a morning tradition). Adam has since been my lollipop chum. When we were 15 we both came out to each other and lollipop chums took on a whole different meaning, known only to us at that time.

Anyway I have not heard a thing from him since I went away to uni, for one reason or another, and though I asked many people if they knew his wherabouts he'd seemingly disappeared. I did an online search for him a few years back but since Adam Brown isn't an unusual name, no luck, unlike me Sarah Waling. Anyway I'm thrilled he's got in touch and it's like the best Xmas present ever ever ever!!!!!

Quick question

If you had to choose, would you get;
1) a digital camera so you can take countless pictures of random stuff, and post them on the internet; or
2) an ipod so that when you start training in the gym and outside the gym you have music to keep you company?
Oh the dilemas!!

PS. Anyone who wishes to slate the Ipod please provide links to an alternative and reasons why this is better, because saying it's crap is not productive!

Make it snappy with those hot chocolates

Was what I heard when I was making drinks on the bar today. My inital thought was "how rude" and then I looked up to see a face peering around the bar grinning at me. A very familiar face, belonging to none other than Jeremiah Birchibald Struntz (well that's what he told his Bio teacher he was called at school), Jon Seedle. I was really shocked to see him. We were really good mates at school and as good mates do, constantly falling out over something or nothing.

Anyway a few years ago he moved to Spain and I'd not heard much from him since but got back in contact through the internet (friends reunited I think) and last time he was home he called me up and we went and got pretty drunk together. As soon as I get over the shock of seeing him, another face pops around the bar, Joanne (der turd in der tea tache) and I got all giddy starting screaming "oh my god, hi" over and over again in a very unprofessional manner. Think I scared half the customers away hehe. I was sooooo excited to see them both but couldn't chat because had drinks lining up on the bar while I was getting excited. Had to go text Jon as soon as I got my break (about 5 mins after they left the shop dammit) and hopefully we're gonna go meet up tonight for a few, should be good. Yey!

Julia

I walked past some people today that I recognised, and it was only on walking back past them that I thought, that's where I know you from, I met you last Wednesday night at Flamingos. Well anyway I said hello, and the lad said "Julia". I said "No, Julia's my middle name though, I'm Sarah" at which point we had the "Oh we had a random conversation the other night when we were all wasted conversation." It turns out that since the girl has the same name as me, and it would be inconceivable to ave two people with the same name round one table we'd decided to use my middle name. And the other Sarah didn't want to change her name so I offered. I have vague recollections of this, and it was rather amusing to recall.

Anyway as I'd finished work and was pretty much hanging about, they said come and sit with us, which after a quick trip to Boots, I did, and we had more random conversations. S asked me if I was still confused, because I was confused the other night. Hmm Well no I'm not that confused, but in a sense I am so didn't know quite what to say, ho hum.... Well anyway I'm not an antisocial bitch and I can be myself. Result!! Woo.

The blogosphere has imploded

Rhys has had a gay experience and so has my brother. What is going on? I mean I was responsible for my brother but not so for Rhys, though both of them blog their experiences very differently and from slightly different perspectives. Both blogs made me laugh loads, which is why I had to post them here, so that anyone who perchance doesn't use the list of links I spent an hour doing because I couldn't get the font size right on blogrolling so therefore did it manually (be appreciative and visit these people, they're honoured) can also appreciate the hilarity of these 2 bloggers. Anyhoo, not much to say, my night was fun too, though not much really happened in comparison to other nights out, usually consisting of a certain supervisor at work drinking too much and just wanting to "f**king dance".

Oooh eck

Today has been fun. I've done the majority of my Christmas shopping and written my Christmas cards. Feel uber organised. Went with Megan Spoon, and she sorted out my whole family's Christmas pressies, well maybe not my whole family, but she helped it had to be said. Anyway we were hanging about Sbux most of the day and left all my shopping there while we went tothe disney store and the highlight of the day Ann Summers. When we got there, there were these 4 old ladies (definately in receipt of pension old) in there and they seemed all embarrased by the novelty gifts, which me and Megan were grinning about. Then one of them walked through the back and all I heard was "ooh eck Winnie, look at this" and "oh my gosh" and things to that effect. Me and Megan practically ran out of the store laughing our arses off (almost). Then we went to coral island to play on the 2p machines, a few grabber machines (even if they are a fix) and dance machine woooo! And riding the horses, I'm sure that never seems so wrong as a kid hahahaha.