03 April 2006

Ok so the truth is not that I've had nothing to blog about, because I have, even if it was only drunken renditions of the Spice Girls in Fleetwood bus shelters. The truth is, I have nothing I wish to share with the whole world. I'm having a few issues with blogging lately, and can't decide how much I'd like to let you in on. This comes from a variety of reasons: -

1) Exes: I don't wanna hurt anyone, nor do i wish to tar anyone's name because of my own feelings. I now save relationship stuff for flowery poems, rich with imagery.
2) The incident: A friend of mine was beaten up by her girlfriend. She posted it on the cyberweb, albeit in a manner which only goes to so many people, but even so, if it got back, would that not make things worse?
3) Most of the topics which mean alot to me make other people who I know read this feel not so good, so I'm always wary of posting them.
4) Who actually reads this?: Well my mum found out about my sexuality online, as did many other people and in some ways that suits me fine but I don't want people finding out stuff by looking on here and getting upset about it.

My blog was always about me, but recently I've come to think of what other people might think if they stumbled across it. I'm kinda stuck as to how I'm feeling about the continuation of blogging right now. I don't want to blog under a 'pen name' because I have always been "this is me" I just need a way to reconcile these opposing ideas.


Blogger Icciv said...

Hey, I know how you feel about blogging. I know that my whole family reads my blog, plus the island then other people in between. This means I'm always aware that there only a limit to what I can say. Recently I havent been blogging much becasue I'm finding a new relationship tough, and I cant write about it because I know I cant tell all the people who read it. However, although it is restrictive, I find I feel more in control of what I say and write, maybe portraying feelings in a more abstract way. Anyway..I'll stop blabbering. I don't think you should stop blogging, I enjoy your blog too much, but I understand where your coming from, sometimes you do have to consider who reads your space.

3:47 am  
Blogger Ally said...

I find it a bit constricting that a lot of people who know me IRL do now know of the existance of the blog, whether or not they read it regularly. I am self-censoring some of the stuff (about therapy sessions, and my feelings about adoption for example), as there is a possibility that my sister might read it and pass it on to my mother.

I do have a 'this is me' attitude generally, though. And today I've moved my own personal line by posting a photo of myself. I might take it down again though ... it's a difficult area and there are no easy solutions.

Posting under a pen name doesn't mean that you can't be *you* though. In a way, I've found it easier to be myself as I *haven't* had to self-censor.

10:42 am  
Blogger Loki said...

It is a bit of a bugger, is blogging. You never know who's reading, and I've had a few people say to me "Oh, I read your blog..." and I'm like "Oh shit... I just made some dodgy comment."

5:20 pm  
Blogger Sazzle said...

I nearly deleted the whole thing today, after I found out that a certain person is online. But no I'm still here, just be careful what I say!

10:55 pm  
Blogger Mike said...

I know what you mean, it's awkward sometimes. For me the whole point of starting a blog was to be able to talk about anything I wanted, to get it off my chest. But now more and more I'm having to hold back what I want to write for fear of hitting a nerve with certain people. It's tricky

12:21 pm  

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